Changes in behaviour or psychology

NB: acknowledgement that I'm a sexual assault survivor, but no discussion of assaults.  Also intimate TMI ahead. If TMI could disturb you, don’t read past *****. Transition, transphobia and the things that came along with these have changed me. I’m quieter, calmer and less angry than I was prior to transition. This is all relative …

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Lessons learnt

I wouldn’t have been better off starting T much more than a month before I did. Had I been financially disowned much sooner, I could not have pulled off the housing situation (however precarious it was) I did until I was able to pay rent on a monthly basis. I came very close to being …

Hopes for the future – a wish list

Decriminilisation of sex work globally (I see you NZ!) Decriminalisation of HIV globally Decriminalisation of all drugs globally (SO to Portugal!) Actual legal recognition that trans women are women no more "bathroom" bills Actual legal regonition that trans men are men Decriminalisation of "sex by deceit" in the UK Guaranteed minimum income globally Universal, adaptable, …

Hindsight

Don’t worry, past self, you’ll make it through. There’s not a whole bunch you could have changed. Your childhood abuse was much worse than anything systemic transphobia, horizontal hostility, family rejection, etc. has to throw at you. Emotionally you’d love to say “if only you’d gone off/never started the coerced treatment because of your intersex …

Self-Awareness: Possibility of Ghost Moments

Ghost moments used to weird me right out. I see someone I know, they don’t recognise someone they knew. To them, I'm a faceless/nameless stranger in the crowd. I’ve gotten used to it. Sometimes it makes me melancholic. Sometimes I’m thrilled I’m spared the social interaction with someone I couldn’t stomach. It's not hard in …

Community Leaders

I’m not going to define what a community leader is. It’s one of these things where if you ask 3 people you’ll get 4 opinions. But my feelings on them are as follow: We’re controversial. Not right off the bat, usually, but it seldom takes more than 2 years to have acquired one’s fair share …

Funny Moments: Such a Rebel at Work

I come from a family of sceptics. We are faintly culturally catholic, but this is easily overstated. At the time I worked for this company, my dad worked in a Muslim dominated country, and one of my siblings was studying in Eastern Europe. Thus, my dad didn't get a stat holiday for Christmas, and my sibling …

Self-Awareness: Misadventures in (Assumed) Parenting

TW childhood physical abuse I was out having dinner with one of my godchildren and his mama. The toddler, who’s usually adorable in every way, was misbehaving; there’s no sugar coating it. His mama did her best but no dice. These things happen; we asked for the bill so we could leave and he could …

Transition and romantic relationships

Things were different in my (cis queer women dominated) social networks when I began medical transition. Social transition made me mostly desirable, though some butch lesbians saw it as some claim to a greater degree of masculinity/strength/toughness (which they conflated with maleness) than them. But the conventional “wisdom” was that T would turn me into …

Evolution (if any) of relationship to ARAO/feminism

I’m even more committed to feminism now than prior to transition. I was always pro-choice, but having fought for my right to dispose of my uterus despite several medical professionals insisting I was (at the time) too young, augmented my belief in “my body, my choice”. It was disturbing that these doctors were fighting for …