Self-Awareness Moment: gaps in cultural experiences

I'm intentionally making this vague to be more relatable, and not potentially get dragged into a "you're not 'enough of'" type of debate with people who debase those of us with parents from different origins. There are 3 components to my cultural heritage of origin. 1/2 from my mum of origin, two quarters from my …

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Funny Moment: disclosing to my prom date

I went through high school dreading prom. Little appealed about a large gathering that included all the bullies, dancing, being pressured to wear a dress, and so many cishet guys  trying to have sex that night. My friends and I had tried starting a GSA the year before graduation, which had been met with fire …

Self-Awareness: changes in policy – part 2

I wrote the first part to this entry when Doug Ford became leader of the OPC party. I'd focused on the awareness that my human rights and access to publicly funded health care was precarious. Since then, he's been elected Premier. If you're a 2LGBTNIA person living in Ontario, my heart goes out to you. The …

Dear trans siblings,

Cis does not equate to fertility. Having one or more ovary and/or a uterus does not guarantee the ability to menstruate, provide an egg and/or carry a pregnancy to term. The entire fertility industry and surrogacy services is predicated on cishet people sometimes requiring them. Infertility is something some cis and trans people have in …

Messiness of being the love(d) one left behind

I lost a love(d) one to mental health some years ago. I've written before about learning to carry grief, so I'll focus on a personal aspect of dating since his passing. I've had to "go on" without a break up, or a single verb tense to talk about the things we share(d) and those we …

Positive Embodiment Inquiry

What has helped you feel positive embodiment? Great question, thank you! 5 things that work for me when I need a boost: Manscaping It grounds me. I've been learning how to take better care of my beard, for example. Now going to the barber is optional/a treat, because I can do a decent fade, lines, …

Unfinished Reflections on Consent

CW sexual assault, alcohol consumption, pederasty CN this is a longer than usual read Consent to me is only consent if it's ongoing, enthusiastic and freely given. This entry however is about some scenarios where that's not proven to be enough of a basis with which to experience and/or witness situations that shook me to …

Ongoing reflection on disclosing to young children

They have LGBTQ+ affirming children books, but all of them presume trans people are starting their transition, and/or are visible. I'm trying to convey that something happened before they were born, that nothing changes about what they call me, or how the world generally perceives me. It seems abstract of a concept for little ones …

Self-Awareness: Baby Classes

It's time for baby classes! As it made the most sense under our circumstances, I'm on parental leave, so I take the twins to these. The only class where there's another dad is baby gym, and even then, he's seldom there, and never without his wife. In all the other ones, babies are brought in …

Self-awareness : parenting babies

During the years I made use of a binder, I was reluctant to hug. I didn't want people to feel the extra layer between them and I; it made me acutely aware of how much I was struggling with my body. By and large, these are faded memories that rarely cross my mind. But for …