The longer I’m in a relationship, the more it gets to me that I can’t get spontaneous erections. Not because it takes long to pump, or that I can’t pump in advance if I don’t want to pump during foreplay, rather because it feels weird not to have this physiological response expressing how turned on I am by my partner and what we do.
I wouldn’t be happier had I not buried my natal glans, I know that because I didn’t have it buried until a few years after having phallo, because it wasn’t working for me to have 2 dicks. A semi-malleable rod wouldn’t address this either given the nature of the constant erections it provides.
I’m not dysphoric about it, but self-conscious and at times disappointed. There are worse things in life, but it’s a nuisance that occasionally makes me hyper aware I’m trans. I’m trying to lean in on alternate non-verbal ways to express erotic attraction, such as pulling my partner in even closer, dry humping during foreplay, and so on, with mixed success so far. I might speak to a sexologist about it down the line.